Rainbows in the Dark

It's interesting how different things seem to take its position in the importance line, if that makes any sense. Just last week, my friend and I resolved a conflict that we were having. The fight lasted pretty long, two weeks, considering that she's one of my best friends. We didn't talk at all during those weeks. And also, during those two weeks, i started focusing more on our friendship than...other things, like my crush. Now I hardly like that person anymore, and i liked that person quite a lot. I guess it just showed me how much I value our friendship. How much one person can have such an effect on my life. I suppose everyone is really connected in one way or another. I should try to cherish everything in my life, that's how I should live.

I've also been having problems with finding myself. I mean, I know who I am but I'm not sure how I am to go about being who I am. I don't know how to show the world me. Some people know me, or at least they think they do. I'm getting tired of this shallowness. I want people to see deeper, to see who I really am. I want to shout it to the world just to see what people would do. But then what? How would I have found myself? Maybe that I've established myself. But that's not good enough. Things are hardly good enough for me. I set too high expectations. I never reach them because all they do is climb up, trying to get away from me. I don't know. I guess it does seem like I've been a little emo lately. But I hate those labels so whatever. Bleh. I never knew that I could have this much chaos about something that will live with me forever. I better start living then. Pain and love, it's about the same thing.